Wednesday, April 21, 2010

10 Tips For Single Moms Raising Girls

Back by popular demand. Last week, I shared my 10 Tips For Single Moms Raising Boys. To be fair, this week, I'm going to share my tips for moms raising girls. As stated before, I have tremendous respect and love for single moms. For a good portion of my life, I was raised by my mother. For all the moms out there (married or single), I hope these nuggets of wisdom help when it comes to raising girls. I have a little girl myself and I know the importance of being a good parent for young ladies. Enjoy!

1) Don't punish the girl because you see things in her that you hate about yourself. Learn how to deal with YOU first so you can more effectively help her.

2) Being hard on her doesn't automatically equate a virtuous young woman. I'm not implying to let her do anything, heaven forbid, however; I'm implying that you should provide structure and boundaries, but not act as a prison warden.

3) Don't live your life through your daughter. Just because you were a cheerleader, doesn't mean she has to be one. Just because you were in the band, doesn't mean that she has to play an instrument.

4)When it comes to boys, she is looking at you to see how you treat (your husband, boyfriend, etc). She is listening to how you talk about men (good or bad) and this is what she is going to model in her life.

5) You can control what she wears. It's important that you train your daughter to have value in herself, long before someone "whispers in her ear." Don't say, I can't help what she wears or does. This is the door way for a long life of regrets for your daughter.

6) Just because you may have had bad experiences with men and/or relationships, don't raise your daughter to hate men, or be distrusting of everyone that she meets for the rest of her life. She is not you, even though she may have some of your traits and attributes. You can't raise her to be a "second you."

7) Build her self esteem continually with positive words and affirmations. She needs to know that she is complete all by herself and that she doesn't have to go looking for wholeness in another person or thing.

8) Spend time with her outside of school, housework, and the day to day, especially when she get older. She may not say it, but she still needs you. Spend some quality time, go out to eat, to the park, for a walk. You can't get those moments back once they are gone.

9) Raise your daughter in love and NOT fear. When you fear if she is going to get pregnant, meet the wrong guy, make the same bad choices you made, that's often what we attract. Raise her with the love of God and the faith to know that after you have done all that you can do, God will intervene and bring it all back to her remembrance.

10) Teach her how to love herself, love God, and how to remain pure and virtuous in a society where everyone is compromising. Remember, when you teach your teach your daughter's daughter.
Mom's as an added bonus, I have included this great poem below as food for thought. Also, don't forget to comment on my blog post as well as follow this blog:

If I had my child to raise over again

If I had my child to raise over again I'd build self-esteem first, and the house later.
I'd finger paint more and point fingers less. I would do less correcting and more connecting.
I'd take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.
I would care to know less and know to care more I'd take more hikes and fly more kites.
I'd stop playing serious, and seriously play. I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars.
I'd do more hugging and less tugging. I'd see the oak tree in the acorn more often.
I would be firm less often and affirm much more.
I'd model less about the love of power, And more about the power of love
Diane Loomans

Moms, I hope you enjoyed my tips. Comment and let me know what you think.


  1. If parents only knew how important self esteem is to their children! Mother-daughter relationships are so vital for a young girls self image -- especially when the media is bomb-barding them with other things. Give them a healthy foundation to start with, let them know how valuable they are - a rare and priceless jewel! Wonderful article.

  2. This empowered me to do the best and be the best person in the world for her..thx